Moscow Mitch McConnell tearfully proclaimed-
“This isn’t a stimulus package, it’s a relief package.”
After eleven years as a goalie for the GOP, McConnell is going to allow one bill to slide into the net.
You know that country just north of Trumperica, the with universal healthcare and a smart and heartthrob for a leader? The citizens of that country will be receiving $2,000 each, for four months, and none of them are dropping dead on the arduous walk home from urgent care-after having been turned away for not having health insurance.
“The Washington drama does not matter anymore. The Senate is going to stand together, act together and pass this historic relief package today,’ ~Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell since January 3, 2007
Hand me that box of tissue, would you? No tissue? Hand me a square of toilet paper then…paper napkin…paper towel? Fuck it, I’ll use this card from Donald Trump.
How many tax dollars went into this mailing?
The $2 trillion federal coronavirus stimulus package is a ”bipartisan effort,” according to Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. Considering where they started, it’s a great package. Initially, the relief for citizens was based on income, with the poor receiving half of what the middle class would receive because every day is Opposite Day in this administration.
This version of the bill pays
- Everyone who earns less than $75,000 a one time check of $1,200.
- Those collecting unemployment insurance will get a bump in benefits- $250 billion- not per person,
- Hospitals will get relief- $100 billion, and
- Small businesses will get small help- $350 billion in loans, that might become grants if the businesses can prove they used most of the loan on the payroll.
- State and local governments will receive $150 billion to fight the outbreak, without having to kiss Trump’s ring.
- Federal student loan payments will be suspended through Sept. 30- that’s not a gift, it postpones the inevitable.
- Foreclosures on federally-backed mortgages will take a 60-day timeout if the homeowner proves their income was affected by the coronavirus.
- And the bill puts a temporary ban eviction filings at federal government-connected properties.
Senators Lindsey Graham, Ben Sasse, and Tim Scott argued that that the unemployment benefit would be an incentive for people to stay unemployed. Who elected these people?
The best part of this bill is that thanks to Senator Elizabeth Warren, the quid-pro-POTUS, his family, top U.S. officials, and members of Congress are exempt from collecting any funds in any form- grants or loans. That is especially good news because last week when a reporter asked baby-fingers if he would use any of the relief money for his hotels, he implied that he was entitled to it and that he would be in charge of fund distribution.
The bad part of the bill is that it bails out corporate America— AGAIN.
Fine Print in the bill reveals aid to the same industries that profited from the GOP tax scam, the industries that used their tax money to buy back stocks and to dole out bonuses to the shareholders and upper management. There are stipulations about how the money is spent, but they didn’t pay taxes last year, so why are they taking part in a taxpayer-funded relief package?
Madame Speaker Pelosi has indicated that the bill will pass in the House. If it does, it needs Covefe45’s seal of approval. How likely is Donny-two-scoops to sign a bill that gives him no scoops at all?
I don’t want to sound ungrateful but I will, so you don’t have to. As much as I need the money, a one time $1,200 check isn’t enough to help most people.
It’s a payout designed to help the GOP in the November election. As I said, our neighbors up North are getting $2k for four months, and free healthcare. They also have Justin Trudeau.
I know what you’re thinking. “Why don’t you move there.”
Maybe I will.