The Numbers in My Head

I love language. Words fascinate me. They make me happy. My hobby is language. I’ve achieved varying levels of non-fluency and illiteracy in several languages. I like to break down words and sort their origins to Latin or Greek. I’m trying, and failing, to read Camus in French, and this is odd, but I have a copy of Anna Karenina, a Russian novel, translated to Greek, that I can’t read, but I’m trying, because I love language.

I’m not bragging. I will admit I’m only fluent in English, and I **** that up too. My point is the part of my brain that works is not the Math part.

‘The left side of the brain is responsible for controlling the right side of the body. It also performs tasks that have to do with logic, such as in science and mathematics.

On the other hand, the right hemisphere coordinates the left side of the body, and performs tasks that have to do with creativity and the arts.’ ~Funderstanding.com

And another source explaining my condition.👇🏼

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2016-04-brain-neural-networks-mathematics-language.html

I like to read about why I hate math. It’s illogical because I am illogical. I always have been.

Numbers are a great source of anxiety for me. I hate them all, ad infinitum.

My math skills were recently tested, (seriously) and I won’t tell you if I’m smarter than a fifth-grader, but I will say that if I need help with my checkbook I’ll ask a seventh-grader. My math skills are remedial, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have numbers swirling around in my head.

Usually, the numbers in my head are related to my debt. I know most people worry about money, but this is meeeeee. I often think about my age. I don’t ‘worry’ about my age, because as they, the terminally optimistic say, it’s better than the alternative. I do think about my age only to wonder if I have time to clear my bucket scroll. The parchment is fading.

I miss the carefree days of my youth, when the only numbers in my head were there because of the owl on my babysitter, (the television,) commercials for tootsie pops- “How many licks…one, two, crunch, three.”

Now to my point, finally. As of late, the numbers I worry about are 53, 45, and 2.

I can safely alter the numbers to 53 and 47. The number I want is 67, which means I’m short 20. These Senate numbers are killing me: Republicans, Democrats, Independents.

We need 67 to remove him. Are there 20 GOP senators who would vote country over party? We can’t expect to vote him out in 2020- because he cheats.

It doesn’t look like it, but maybe we’re only hearing the voices of the enablers, those bribed or threatened into tractable servitude.

My hope is that there are enough Republicans in the Senate who have the decency to vote for what will preserve our democracy, our healthcare, and Social Security.

I remember a year ago, February of 2019, the ominous warning of Trump’s former attorney, given at the closing of his testimony before Congress:

“I fear that if he loses the election in 2020, there will never be a peaceful transition of power.” ~Michael Cohen

I’m worried too.

I hate numbers.

In recompense for the stress, I just transferred to you, here is something to brighten your day, The Borowitz Report. 👇🏼

“Susan Collins Takes Hours to Decide on Lunch Before Ordering Exactly What Mitch McConnell Is Having”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/susan-collins-takes-hours-to-decide-on-lunch-before-ordering-exactly-what-mitch-mcconnell-is-having