What I Did Not Read Today

Honestly, I’m losing my will to write. Donald Trump has become predictable. It’s the weekend, so he tweets and golfs. Today I look to a newspaper for inspiration. I find one in my driveway, hidden under a mound of leaves fallen from the two hundred year old oak tree whose limbs reach menacingly over my house. It doesn’t scare me. 

I unroll the newspaper and put the rubber band around my wrist to test my ability to feel. Snap… nothing. 

So what do I write about today? This is waste of paper. These headlines could not even entice me to read the stories… I’d rather make up my own—

Trump is hallucinating again…Schumer is in bunny slippers, twirling and tossing a baton, while agreeing to everything Donald says.

 
Pulling out my phone I scour Facebook. Snap… nothing. 

I see the tweets du jours and think I should be alarmed. Snap…nothing. I might have been alarmed a few months ago, when I was still young, but today I’m numb. 

Yawn…he wants attention, he poor dotard. moron. Snap…nothing

Donald Trump is abandoned and lonely with his skeleton White House staff. What’s that guy’s name…the one who’s still there Steve or Mike… the military guy who hides his head in his hands when Trump goes off script…oh yea, John Kelly, anyway, even he won’t play with Trump any more. 

Trump is like the kid the whose parents forget to pick up from every birthday party. Sad!

I look at the news on my phone, and it’s equally vapid.

CNN Money— “Why Steven Mnuchin took a $15,000 day trip to New York”

I imagine Mr Mnuchin’s current, and aspiring to be third ex-wife, needed a new Hermès Birkin bag in a darker shade of ochre, to match the stench that rises out of his mouth when he speaks. 

Maybe what I need is a Hermès Birkin bag to lift my spirits… blech not on her payment plan. I’d rather use a plastic grocery bag that says “The Dollar Store.”

Then I see this, and my despair vanishes— Hope springs eternal. For this I pull out my reading glasses in anticipation—

Hallelujah! Finally a story worth reading, a story, of progress it’s finally happening! NO.
The title is completely misleading, and it is the entire story. Democratic lawmakers request the lovely liars by omission, lose their security clearance. It has not happened. It was only a request. I requested my son rake the leaves in my driveway, but that doesn’t mean it will happen. He might never do it, or maybe he’ll do it in the spring after months of snow and ice have fallen and melted. A request does not warrant a story CNN. Snap, snap, snap…nothing. 

I feel myself aging… who has Mueller phone number? 

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<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/elastic/”>Elastic</a&gt;