Life is a journey and my proverbial bags are packed. I’m ready for my detour. As I perused today’s periodicals I realized I am in the wrong profession. I have so much more to offer the world, and clearly the world needs one more journalist.
The following is what inspired the hamsters in my head to jump on rusty the wheel:
Next week Donald Trump and his good friend, whom he doesn’t know, will meet at the G20 summit in Germany. This will be their first meeting since Putin made Trump president. The New York Times reported today on what might be discussed between the two:
“There’s no specific agenda — it’s really going to be whatever the president wants to talk about,” ~ Lt. Gen. H. R. McMaster, the president’s national security adviser
Dear New York Times,
Please hire me. If I were a reporter with access to people in the know, like the good Lt. Gen, I would ask the hard hitting questions we all really want answered:
- What will Donald Trump wear for the meeting? Which extra long red tie? Will he use regular scotch tape to hold the tie to his shirt, or double sided tape? Why doesn’t he use tie clips?
- How will he style his hair? Will he do the glued down comb over, or will he use one of the afore mentioned scotch tapes? I suppose hair clips are too cumbersome.
- Is Donald abstaining from that second scoop of ice cream and the beautiful chocolate cake this week, with hopes of looking his best for the shirtless muscleman— Prince Charming on his white horse?
- Has Donald scheduled a special shade, perhaps more red, for his spray tan this week?
- Will this meeting be chaperoned?
I’ve been playing around with couple names, not unlike Brangelina or Bennifer, and this is what I have so far: Vlonald, Donamir, Prump, Trutin.
So as you can see, New York Times Human Resources department, I am serious about my work. I am willing to ask the questions those currently on staff are clearly afraid to ask. When you are ready to hire a fearless reporter, please comment to this post. My bags are packed as I await your response.