Donald Trump is crying voter fraud again even though there is no evidence of it. He won the election, but that’s not enough for him. The only way he could have lost is if he was robbed. 3 – 5 million votes would have given him the popular vote win that his ego wants so desperately. What kind of fraud are we talking? Dead people, illegal aliens, dogs, cats, ferrets, and all the people who are registered to vote in multiple states—millions of them.

Ruh roh…The word is that most of Trump’s Steves are registered in more than one state: Steven Mnuchin, Steve Bannon, and even Trump’s non-Steve daughter Tiffany Trump, is  registered in two states. But, their’s were oversights. The only evidence that voter fraud existed is in the alternate fact universe of Donald Trumps mind. 
In order to prevent more (future democrats) illegal aliens from entering the country, before re-election, it is time to get started on that wall. Stop worrying, Mexico is going to pay for…or eventually pay us back for it. Mexico begs to differ, but let’s not quibble about who pays yet. 

Money is nothing in the world of a reality star who pays no taxes. With that reality show in mind, I give you ten “Apprentice” worthy options to raise 8 billion dollars for the wall.

  1. Sell advertising on the wall. Taco Bell on one side, McDonald’s on the other. Make the fast food industry pay for it. They’ll build it fast…and supersize it. 
  2. Wait for Canada to build their wall (the wall to stop the influx of Americans defecting) and once that wall is built, we wait until it’s really, really dark, and then move it way south.
  3. We take a lesson from the great business man in Chief and hold payment until the wall is finished, then we file bankruptcy.
  4. We make criminals build the wall for free. That’s how the Egyptians built the Great Pyramids of Gaza isn’t it? And if there aren’t enough criminals even in Chicago, we criminalize journalism…except Fox of course. That solves the problem of negative publicity as well. 
  5. We sell raffle tickets, have bake sales, and pig races.
  6. Charge people for professional portraits taken in front of the wall.
  7. We make the Kardashians (or the Trumps) build the wall in a new reality show.
  8. We market the joy of building the wall as a once in a lifetime experience, an excursion- like a dude ranch, and we charge people to do the labor, using those earnings to purchase building materials.
  9. Donald and his friends pay their taxes.
  10. We put Donald in a dunk tank. $200. per ball. He might actually draw a crowd for that. 

Feel free to add your ideas.  _____________________________

January 25, 2017

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