Support In Vain 

Support comes in many forms, from many unexpected sources. Pecuniary support can be acquired from financial institutions, emotional support from the mental health community, Apple support from the Apple Store, and AAA will sell us roadside assistance. We support our friends as they support us. If your family is supportive with regards to life’s daily challenges, kudos to you. My support comes from a very different source… stockings.

As an abutment provides support for an architectural vault, I, being of a certain genetic composition and demographic, rely on reinforcement of the compression spandex and lycra variety, a buttress for my buttress— This lower extremity binding is a solitary endeavor, though one would not be expected to don a straight jacket unassisted.

There are three pieces of advice I can offer anyone new to the phenomenon of compression stocking application.

1. Allow plenty of time to install this substructure. There is a learning curve, and you will need to use compression hose donning gloves, but I have no idea why. You will need to take breaks and rest several times through this grueling process. 

2. Do not attempt to conquer this apparel on a chair. You could be unseated if your chair can’t handle the kickback. A bed is the ideal location, and if you lose consciousness, you want to be in bed anyway. Expect a fight.

3. Keep scissors nearby should you need to abort the effort quickly due to any twisting or bunching which might lead to a loss of circulation or will to live.

You will break a sweat, and feel like you need another shower, but if you are successful, do not attempt wrestle with them again until you remove them at the end of the day— you’ll need to regain your strength.

The process of enswathing oneself in support hose is reminiscent of the birthing process: grunts, bodily fluids, mood swings… all that’s missing really is the epidural, and the resulting baby. 
Good luck.


The Daily Post, September 12, 2015, Daily Prompt: Daily Ritual~ Think about your day. Select one of your daily rituals and explain it to us: why do you do what you do? How did you come to adopt this ritual? What happens on days when you can’t perform it?<a href=””>Daily Ritual</a><a href=””>Daily Ritual</a>

2 thoughts on “Support In Vain 

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