If you have followed my blog for more than, I don’t know, six months, you may have noticed that the rate at which I hit publish has diminished. I am suffering from an affliction called “writer’s block.”
No need to reach for the hand sanitizer. After exhaustive online research, I have learned that there are only eight steps I must accomplish to overcome any kind of disorder. I know I’m not special, so those of you who are similarly debilitated may follow along.
Step 1. “To solve a problem you must first define it”…
I’m back. I googled “writer’s block,” just to make sure what I have isn’t gas. As per Wikipedia:
“Writer’s block is a condition, primarily associated with writing, in which an author is unable to produce new work or experiences a creative slowdown. This creative stall is not a result of commitment problems or the lack of writing skills.”
What a relief. This condition does not indicate a lack of skill or dedication to the craft.
I’m going to own it, my craft Never mind. I must explore the origin of my scourge.
Step 2. “Set some goals.”
This suggestion is insulting. I have goals. For several years now I posted almost daily, including the day I had my appendix removed, but I’ll play along.
My list of goals:
1. Publish a post daily.
Step 3. “Brainstorm possible solutions.” As if I haven’t done that.
Step 4. “Rule out any obvious poor options.” I’m supposed to evaluate my list of goals and delete the unrealistic ones.
As a concession, I’ll lower my standard to publishing a post every other day. I apologize if this inconveniences you, my reader. 🥱
Step 5. “Examine the consequences, and their pros and cons.
My go-to topic has been pointing out the flaws of that former guy. He’s gone, which is good, however, he is squatting in the heads of the Congressional GOP. I’m fed up with the snail’s pace of indicting political criminals. Have you ever eaten so much of something good that you can’t eat it anymore? (M&M’s and watermelon) Eliminating politics should free brain space, allowing me to return to my roots. What did I write about before Trump?
- My kids- they grew up. It was thoughtless on their part.
- My mother- moved in. She reads junk mail out loud and gives me a play-by-play of the happenings outside the wall of windows. She also gives me up-to-the-minute weather reports. Still no rain. That is the extent of this topic.
Other random topics:
- “The Man”- big corporations and the wealth gap. How much can you say about the stinking rich or greedy CEOs with their golden parachutes?
Step 6. “Identify the best solutions.”
I have two choices:
- I can lift my self-imposed restrictions, write about the parts of my life that I’ve kept on the down-low, like work and my health.
- I can make shit up. This is called writing fiction, which I am also trying to accomplish at turtle tempo, to be published elsewhere eventually, I hope.
Correct answer: 1.
Step 7. “Put your solutions into practice.”
This is s really stupid list. Let’s go back to Google.
Okay, I’ve moved on to writermag.com. They list writer’s block likely “causes and cures.” Let’s see how that cute alliteration affects my list.
C– Too few ideas.
C– They have diagnosed me with a fear of failure and self sabotage. Okay, I’ll agree just to keep the chi flowing. I must throw caution to the wind and pen an epistle in a genre I’ve never tried. 💡 Next week I will experiment with sci-fi- haikus.
C– I have too many ideas
C– Yeah, this is not my problem, but if it were I’d write each idea on a slip of paper, tape them all to my wall and throw a piece of al dente pasta, (spaghetti because rotini wouldn’t work,) at the wall to see what it sticks to.
C– I have too many responsibilities crowding my creativity into a clot of inedible cheese.
C– True, but not helpful.
C– I have ideas that I can not elucidate.
C– “Find a mentor” is their solution for this one. No.
C– I have a fear of “writing what I must write.”
C– I’m depressed.
C– No shit.
C– If this is a condition I can’t shake, seek help.
C– Done. Hippa!
C– I’m a perfectionist.
C– If you have read any of my posts you know that is not my infirmity.
C– I’m on the wrong path.
C– I’m trying to
fork off take another tine in the fork I rode in on of life.
C– I speak too negatively to myself.
C– This is also a form of C, so…
C– I’m going through some life changes.
C– The word “some” is superfluous.
C– I’m stuck
Okay, this has become redundant and unhelpful.
One of my offspring, (what do you call them when they aren’t children anymore?😩), gifted me the following book. I have to tell you that when I picked up the book and cracked it’s spine, I found some great ideas.
This post has not been one of them.