I keep starting this post and setting it aside, not because I don’t have enough to say, but I can’t find a nice way to say it. Maybe I’m not a nice person. I’ll let you decide, but keep your conclusions to yourself, my ego suffers enough.
IN THE BEGINNING
I understand now why I thought I needed Facebook. My reasons for joining were not uncommon:
- I wanted to “creep” on my kids,
- I was going through a divorce and felt I needed a social distraction,
- Cool people told me I should be on it.
AND I MADE A PROFILE IN MY IMAGE
I dusted the cobwebs off the creative right side of my brain and set to work, believing my profile was so very clever. I’d laugh out loud, or “lol, 😂” as they say. I won’t give you detailed examples, because looking back, meh.
Seven friends in, I didn’t see the appeal. I was told to “wait for it.” I waited.
BE FRUITFUL AND INCREASE UNTO EACH OTHER
I slowly reconnected with:
- People who I don’t remember ever meeting,
- People I may have met once,
- People I knew, but was never friends with,
- Relatives I’m not really related to,
- The sister of a horrid, cheating, manipulative, abusive, ex-boyfriend,
- Someone I went to kindergarten through high-school with and had a brief business relationship within my early twenties, who asked in several comments where I went to high school. Clearly, my teen angst years were unremarkable. I grew tired of repeating this: “I went to high school with you.” [my first UNFRIEND]✅
AND THE GOSSIPS UNDER THE SKY GATHERED UNTO ONE PLACE
“Groups” started: public, semi-private, private, secret, just me. These groups categorize “friends,” put people in boxes. I can’t organize my kitchen, but Facebook friends organize themselves. These often are a cover for backbiting bitch fests, many of which are exclusive to work. FYI, your employer is apprised of these groups, because there will always be one “friend” who talks to management.
Facebook became part of my daily routine. I couldn’t go to bed until I met my snark comment quota for the day. Yes, I made enemies. Sarcasm and irony don’t translate to Facebook.
THEN THERE WAS LIGHT
With a few exceptions, I find that if we haven’t maintained friendships, Facebook is not going to change that. People in my life are in my life because we’ve made an effort to nurture our relationships, or we’re immediate family and have no choice. Hate me if you will.
Several months ago, or maybe two and a half years, who can keep track, I made a conscious decision to quit Facebook. My reasons were many, but these are some of the most compelling:
- Friend requests increasingly came from people in my past I had lost touch with purposely.
- “Friends” re-posted political propaganda and copious corpus that I didn’t care to be subjected to, such as pizza-gate, Hillary eats babies, Obama birther bullshit, the Keto diet, graphic animal abuse posts,
- “Fun” fun photos of acquaintances and their friends having: fun at the beach, fun drinking margaritas, fun with neighbors, fun dance at a recital, at a fun picnic, fun painting the porch, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! (Get a thesaurus.) They all have more “fun” than I ever do, and they’re having this ”fun” while they’re doing nothing.
- 👉🏼—I posted an NPR article about some ballsy thing that Trump did, and I wrote: “you can’t make this stuff up.” Some chick who I don’t remember from elementary school, (who told me my job sucks after I accepted her friend request,) responded in caps “THAT’S THE POINT, YOU CAN MAKE THIS STUFF UP— IT’S FAKE NEWS!” [my second UNFRIEND]✅
- Finally, Mark Zuckerberg was the deciding factor. His testimony before Congress – what a douche, selling Russia millions of dollars in analytically targeted ad space, to spread propaganda. Okay, I know:
LET HE WHO HASN’T SOLD OUR DEMOCRACY TO RUSSIA THROW THE FIRST камень
I decided to drive a stake into the heart of my account- wear a garlic necklace as I held a cross to my profile picture and deleted my Facebook identity. I don’t trust Mark Zuckerberg not to sell my soul.
ON THE EVENING OF THE SIXTH DAY, I SAW ALL THAT I HAD MADE
The first thing I did was to copy my photos because that was where I foolishly stored them all.
I deleted messaging. I have a phone that I pay specifically for that purpose. I don’t need Zuckerberg tracking and selling data derived from spying on my communication.
I disabled alerts and banners, then moved on to ignoring notices. I had a few slip-ups, clicking on the app by force of habit. This prompted me to move Facebook’s app to a separate page on my phone, so it wouldn’t be visible every time I picked it up.
I tried to disable comments on my timeline posts, but I’m not sure if that worked, and I’ll never know.
I made my timeline posts invisible to everyone, except my only true friend, me
So here’s where I am now. I tried to kill my account entirely.
I logged on after what had been many months, or maybe two and a half years, who can keep track, and a pop-up screen— popped up on my screen. It would not let me proceed unless I agreed to give Facebook the right to use my information as they see fit. This may have been something that I agreed to in the past when I was unaware of how unscrupulous Zuckerberg is, but I certainly would not do it now.
AND ON THE SEVENTH DAY I DELETED IT, AND IT WAS VERY GOOD
I did the only thing I could think of without agreeing to Facebook’s lack of privacy terms; I deleted the app from my phone. A warning popped up that I was about to lose my data, I smiled an evil grin, and I finished it. It felt good.
Then I thought about my laptop and realized that my account still exists there and elsewhere. I decided to turn on my computer, and after a long search I found a link to permanently delete my account, which I did. Facebook has taken enough of my time. Zuck doesn’t want anyone to quit, so he makes you wait 30 days for your account to disappear, hoping you’ll change your mind. It’s like breaking up with Comcast, or disconnecting a landline.
The following information was at the bottom of my last post. People must understand that what they read on Facebook is not grounded in fact. Please feel free to repost the news story. We don’t want a repeat of 2016. 👇🏼👇🏼
“Last week, Facebook quietly changed the language of its advertising policies to make it easier for politicians to lie in ads.”
The Trump campaign spent $1.5m on new Facebook ads- they include claims ruled false by Facebook approved third-party fact-checkers.
Until last week, Facebook’s ad policies prohibited “false or misleading content.”