Welcome, Welcome, Well…

“After three days men grow weary, of a wench, a guest, and weather rainy.” ~Benjamin Franklin

I envy those who enjoy playing the role of host. It seems an exhausting and thankless endeavor, but there are people who seem to execute the task effortlessly. I do not. My life is structured, and every hour is spoken for, which is the only way I can get through my day. I prioritise that which I must do, vs that which I should do. I should go outside, and pull up the entirety of my overgrown landscape and then start over…but instead, for now, I ignore the jumbled mass of weeds and focus on my must do activities: care for offspring, pay bills/work, (try to) maintain sanity.

If we were playing word association and you said the word “guests” my response would be “three” because there are three rules regarding guest visits: no more than three guests are welcomed at one time, visits should be of no more than three days duration, and after three days I turn back into a bitter servant. 

*Consider if you will, Wikipedia’s statistical analysis graph explaining the rule of three:  

I have no idea what it means, but I believe it lends credibility to my argument.

My ancestor Aristotle wrote of the rule of three in his book Rhetoric. Three is the magic number in (almost) all things. A story has a beginning, middle, end—three parts. Realtors have three rules— location x3, a person needs to hear something three times before it is remembered. I know from personal experience that I need to repeat myself three times before what I say is heard. I know from personal experience that I need to repeat myself three times before what I say is heard. I know from personal experience that I need to repeat myself three times before what I say is heard. 

Speaking of which, I have three offspring who think they are guests in my home, because like guests, they don’t generally pick up after themselves, do laundry, or feed themselves. Like my offspring, guests expect me to be available for the duration of their visit. If I lived a life of leisure, that would be a common curtesy that I would extend. Sadly, I have a job, and for me anything more than three days off could land me an extended stay in debtors prison. 

Three days is enough is enough, and typically follows this pattern: The first day of a visit is great fun. The house is clean, and we enjoy a nice meal over a bottle of wine while catching up. The second day is just shy of tolerable, after all, what is left to say? At this point “catching up” feels like gossiping. The third day…well, I can barely stand myself after three days. After the third day leftover food should be tossed, as should guests. 

Really, the best guests stay at hotels. 

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July 12, 2016, One Word Daily Prompt: Guest~ <a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/guest/”>Guest</a&gt;

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