If this were a world without computers I would use the capital normally spent on computers and internet service to purchase a cow, a spectacular bovine specimen with a perfectly mapped out black and white spotted coat and remarkably long eyelashes veiling her big brown cow eyes. I would name her Coco.
Coco’s only responsibility would be maintaining my lawn, but only if she was in the mood. Without the need to kowtow to me we would become fast friends, experiencing life cloven hoof in hand.
Using methods I couldn’t cowntenance she would gift me every form of cheese imaginable… except goat cheese. (Goat cheese would require me to sacrifice my television cable service.)
Eventually we would encownter preconceived enmity. The world would make it difficult for Coco and me to cowexist. I would be behooved to seek out a breed of doctor who, for a fee of $75, would write a note branding me mad and Coco would become my emotional support. If the application were a success, Coco and I would never part. I would use the note in order for Coco could gain entry to retail establishments like grocery stores, hotels, moovie theaters, restaurants where we would feed together, and all the airlines.
When travelling, the airlines would have no choice but to allow Coco to ride in the cabin with me, under the seat in front of me or on my lap. In the event of an emergency, were oxygen masks to fall from the ceiling compartment, I would put Coco’s mask of first.
Alas, my plan is no gouda, becowse without a computer, I would be udderly devastated by the impossibility of finding a genus of doctor who would write me that note. Curdling does not make the heart grow fonder. My relationship with Coco would eventually sour and our time together would become condensed… a dried up mammary… sigh.
*Photo credit modern farmer.com
*No cows were harmed in the writing of this post. #Vegan
The Daily Post, January 26, 2016, Daily Prompt: Life After Blog’s~ Your life without a computer: what does it look like?<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/life-after-blogs/”>Life After Blogs</a>