BC = Before College

The next few years will see, in rapid succession, a mass exodus from my house near the loch. The first of my wee spawn will in a few short months make the transition from home, breaking from the shelter of the chrysalis to fly free into the world of her chosen institution of higher learning, and enter into the campus living that goes with it.

It is incumbent on me, the parent to provide the information which will ensure the success of my no longer quite so wee spawn, making her and her siblings after her, valuable commodities in their respective dormitory communities, as well as highly desired roommates.

One can only hope.

Lesson 1

Toilet Paper: Can you replace it?

This is debatable, and subjective, but yes it can be replaced. As you examine this photo taken in an actual lavatory used by teenagers, you will realize that it isn’t always done. I know what you’re thinking- “But mum, I don’t know how.” Take a deep breath, and you might want to text this explanation to yourself for future reference: First you have to know what a package of toilet paper looks like. Once identifiable it will be easy to retrieve, and relocate to the corresponding room. Once the package of toilet paper is in the water closet, the roll of toilet paper is slipped over the rod, and extra rolls are then stored in the base. The rolls stored in the base, while quite attractive, are not just for show. They are to be used in tandem with the roll on the rod.

Lesson 2

What is meant by the often heard (some would say overused) phrase “Put your laundry away”?

Let us first define the noun in this sentence:
laundry- articles of clothing, linens, etc., that have been or are to be washed.
hmmm…
The root of the problem here might be that you never understood what happened to your clothes after you dropped them on the floor. Let me paint a picture: The stunningly beautiful Laundry Fairy flutters into your room when you’ve left, and gathers all the soiled garments that are strewn about. Then she floats into the powder room, and after shaking her head at the empty roll of toilet paper, she gathers the clothes and towels that garnish the floor. She magically transports said articles to the laundry room, then washes and dries (another lesson for another day) then folds them. This is when your mother, the untamed shrew, says: “PUT YOUR LAUNDRY AWAY!” (What the hell is her problem?)
When she says those four words, that’s your cue to spring into action. Pick up your pile of clothes and take them back to their starting point… Not the floor, the drawer.

Lesson 3

How to wake up with an alarm.

Don’t over think this. Look at the picture. You really only have two options. Snooze is for procrastinators who run the risk of tardiness. Choose OK, then GET UP. That simple.

•Lesson 4

What to do if you drop something.

Pick it up.

•Lesson 5

How to close a door when you leave a dwelling. This is something that takes time. You may want to set that alarm a minute earlier than you have in the past, because you will not be able to run out the door without regard. This lesson requires you to stop, and turn around. Pull on the knob that’s attached to that big heavy rectangular slab of wood, until you hear a click. The click is the locking mechanism taking hold of the door, ensuring its status as closed.

(The advanced learner will also be taught that this lesson applies to doors of all kinds: refrigerator doors, freezer doors, cabinet doors, etc.)

These life lessons if learned, will be useful in post graduate life, as well as in the highly competitive world of mature adulthood.

Best wishes on your continued success.

My work here is done.
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The Daily Post
Dec 28,2014
The Daily Prompt
Hindsight
Now that you’ve got some blogging experience under your belt, re-write your very first post.
<a href="http://Hindsight.”>Hindsight.
My first post was “Ephemeral Thoughts On YouTube”, written on 03/12/2014, BC is my rewrite.
https://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2014/03/12/ephemeral-thoughts-on-youtube/