Hunter’s Presidential Prospects Dwindle (Pirate Translation)

Please allow me to open this post with the assurance that Hunter Biden will not have my vote for President in 2024.

The first revenge indictment has been issued, yes we’ve come to this. Hunter Biden has been criminally indicted on nine tax related charges, for paying his taxes late. He also faces charges for omitting information about his drug use on an application to buy a gun.

Trump nominated U.S. Attorney David Weiss, overseeing the investigations into Hunter Biden, brought the charges as Special Counsel designated by President Biden’s Attorney General Merrick Garland. 🧐

Trump-appointed district judge Mark C. Scarsi has been assigned to the case. 🧐

“Based on the facts and the law, if Hunter’s last name was anything other than Biden, the charges in Delaware, and now California, would not have been brought. Now, after five years of investigating with no new evidence — and two years after Hunter paid his taxes in full — the U.S. Attorney has piled on nine new charges when he had agreed just months ago to resolve this matter with a pair of misdemeanors.”

Abbé Lowell, Attorney for Hunter Biden

Lowell asserts that Weiss “bowed to GOP pressure.”

If Donald Trump was held to the standard of criminal prosecution applied to Hunter Biden for his taxes, he would have been in prison a decade ago — and there he would languish today.

I can’t wait to see the media coverage of this while they continue to normalize Trump’s 99 federal criminal charges.

How is it that Hunter Biden should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for paying his taxes late, but Donald Trump, who stole top secret information including classified war plans, headed a criminal conspiracy to commit election fraud in Georgia, attempted to overthrow the government by attacking the Capitol on 1/6, and obstructing certification of the 2020 election which he lost, is free to continue his offensive against our democracy?

Trump reported millions in negative income in 2015, 2016, 2017 and 2020. He paid the sum total of $750 in federal taxes for the combined years of 2016 and 2017. How much did you pay in those years?

Yo, IRS and DOJ, can we look into our new millionaire Christo-fascist Speaker of the House who has no bank accounts?

~•~ Fin ~•~

Now in Pirate for me hearties:

Avast! Landlubber Garland run a rig fer scurvy sea dogs that give no quarter ta Hunter Biden. Thars nay hornswagglin the tax man if the plunder be paid, belayed aye, the sun had set, but no matter.

T’was the sea-dog’s pocket watch plundered by a wench wi sticky fingers, while the Corsair be imbibin in more than ´is share o’ grog. A clap o thunder lends itself ta forgettin’ t’mention his pirate stash when tradin crown fer a musket. A hangman handpicked by a black hearted vermin, be pushin the matey ta walk the plank. Tis fair ta claim’ t’all ‘ was nay but fer his surname.

Mahindra Thar! Orange béluga tax tales– if t’wer the sea cow, nay a lib biscuit, like Hunter, ´e might’a bin in the brig many a blue moon past. Irony be thicker than a ship’s anchor in this tax tale of the high seas. Arrr!

https://time.com/6344032/hunter-biden-new-criminal-charges-tax-evasion/