You don’t know what Venmo is?
Catch up, boomer. Venmo is the ultimate way to effortlessly transfer monetary bribes to any Supreme Court Justice who will hear your high-profile case. Look no further for your money laundering needs! With Venmo, simply include “Christmas Party” in the space marked “memo,” and your transaction will pass unnoticed. It’s the perfect cover!
Need to buy or sell favors (😉) from your high school girlfriend? Fund her trip across state lines? Purchase drugs or procure alcohol for teens who don’t have fake IDs? Venmo is the go-to platform for paying youngsters for their services. Just ask Congressman Matt Gaetz.
Say goodbye to bulky cash or paper trails left by checks—just Venmo it! Join the trend and experience the convenience that all the kids and supreme court justices are raving about. Venmo, disguising the origins of money got through criminal activity since 2009. . . until someone looks at your account.
Matt Gaetz Paid Accused Sex Trafficker Joel Greenberg, Who Then Venmo’d Teen
A lot from Lydia 
My daughter tried to explain Venmo to me. Then ended the conversation with, “or you can just write me a check.”
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Hahaha! My son says “you wouldn’t understand” about most things.
A doctor I saw last week had a sign on the door- “no cash or checks.” 👀
I have another dr who charges a credit card fee. I doubt they’d take Venmo. Nothing makes sense anymore.
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Good luck next week. I’ll be thinking about you!
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