How is Your Pandemic Going?

I hope you are not among those suffering illness, and that you are merely among those in “lockdown” purgatory, like me.

I have accomplished much since official isolation began yesterday at 3:00 PM.

I have created a body dent on my sofa cushion.

I have thought about doing my taxes.

I’ve cleared unnecessary papers off my refrigerator door.

It doesn’t look like much when I write it down. So, now I feel bad.

What regrets could I possibly have, you ask? Well, I wish I hadn’t procrastinated:

1. Getting a haircut,
2. Going to the dentist,
3. Creating a toilet paper mummy,
4. Purchasing a rattan fainting couch—

“World Market: For safety, we are closing all stores through April 3. You can continue to shop and ship at worldmarket.com”

The lessons I’ve learned in my life have served me well. Sure, there is wisdom anyone can find on a tea bag tag.

But even more poignant is the one lesson my father, a cab driver when he was alive, taught me that has seen me through these past 17 hours, and I’ll share that dogma with you today.

I was fifteen years old, with a learners permit in my caramel brown, suede, fringed, crossbody purse when he screamed from the passenger’s seat of my family’s Ford Granada, words that reverberate in my head to this day:

“KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE GODDAMN ROAD IN FRONT OF YOU, AND DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT THE CARS BEHIND YOU ARE DOING, GODDAMNIT!!!”

That lesson is more than just an abusive driving tip, it’s a life-lesson that has become the philosophy I live by.

I only iron the front of my clothes.