Today I Put Dog Food in the Coffee Grinder

I had to put my 15-year-old pup down on Wednesday. I wrote about her just last week. I’ve been expecting this for over a year, not wanting to be the adult and make a decision.

Tuesday night, she started bleeding. I took her to the pet ER, along with two of my three offspring. My middle child is away at school.

I don’t want to get into details, but she was prodded and poked, they took blood, and using ultrasound, they found a mass on her bladder that “did not look good.” The radiologist had left for the day, so more extensive tests couldn’t be done until morning. We were there for three and a half hours. It was a bad night for her, spent panting and shaking. We brought her home sometime after midnight, maybe one. They wanted us back at 7 am to “wait in a cue” to be squeezed in to see the radiologist who is booked three weeks in advance. “It might take all day to get her in.” They said no food or water in the meantime. I agreed to this.

Surprisingly, I was not the voice of reason; my 23-year-old daughter was. She reminded me that we had a choice. We could take Phoebe back to the ER in the morning for more intrusive tests. They would possibly keep her for several days, and maybe operate. They would then tell us what we already knew and hand us a bill for thousands of dollars that we don’t have. Or we could take her to our regular vet and end the pain she’s suffered for many months.

My daughter spent the day with Phoebe and our two little dogs. The three dogs celebrated Phoebe’s life with fresh salmon, a banana, and extra treats. I made it home in the afternoon, and my daughter went to work. On the way, took this photo.

They are clouds but look closer.

It’s a dog.

She made it to work, but they sent her home. At 5 pm, my son, my daughter, and I took Phoebe to the vet. I’ve been through this before, and it never gets easier.

My son was four when we adopted her; he’ll be nineteen next week.

Phoebe and Loretta are together again.

I’ll answer the question that I know has been plaguing you throughout this post. I did grind it, but I did not brew or drink the dog food.

16 thoughts on “Today I Put Dog Food in the Coffee Grinder

  1. How appropriate that ‘Racing in the Rain’ came out today. I read the book. I cried. I read this post. I cried. I am so sorry, Lydia. No, it never does get easy. Look for my Daisy and Muffin, Phoebe. Tell them their mom is friends with your mom. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah Lydia, such a painful experience for you and your family. Thoughts of Fluffy still bring quick tears and heartache for me and I have no doubt will for a while to come. You will be glad of a “decent” cup of coffee in the days and weeks to come. By the way, I don’t know why but I have always believed that the clouds are made up of all the departed pets worldwide, this proves it beyond doubt. I must also look out for the book mentioned by loisajay. Although I too don’t need a reason to cry just now. Thinking of you.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. The loss of a dog is a form of heartbreak that is hard to describe. A dog is a bundle of love and their short lifespans (in comparison to ours) are a cruel fact we have to deal with… Enjoy the memories.

    Liked by 2 people

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