Rollin’ Down the River…

I meant to sleep in this morning, but that was in vain. I was reminded that I am a year older when Vein Clinics sent me an early morning Happy Birthday text. Rude. They love me even though I ghosted them, too. No one is allowed to mention my birthday. That’s a standing rule. I celebrate with exclusive pity parties. (For one.)

As the sun peeked over the horizon, I slurped my piping hot, smokey blend of dark instant coffee. (Don’t be snobs.) I drink it black. Second only to bedtime, that cuppa is a highly anticipated part of my day. I say I only drink one cup, but it’s a double scoop in a large mug. Meanwhile, my three “dogs” are chowing down because you know their needs come first. I check my phone to find:

*BREAKING NEWS* All eyes (maybe not all eyes) Many eyes (probably an even number) are on Ohio this morning, where 2 dozen barges broke loose and floated uncontrolled down the Ohio River.

I know I’m not the only person who thought, “what the duck is a barge?” So I gift you this definition.‬

I hope no horses are involved. (As per definition 5.)

There was a time when I worried and considered contacting PETA to raise awareness, so great was my concern over the wellbeing of horses used in the water-polo. How do they breathe? I learn something every day.

Out of the 26 rogue barges, 23 were floating storage units for everything but water—mostly coal, in case you were planning a barbecue on the river.

Law enforcement and other authoritarians authorities have been on high alert. “Out of an abundance of caution, multiple bridges have been closed, including the McKees Rocks Bridge in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.” Six barges have wedged themselves up against the Emsworth Dam. Those are no longer a concern. “Reports of Extensive Damage has been reported at Peggys Marina. Please avoid this area until further notice.” Not a problem.

‪Crews are monitoring the situation.

https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/13/us/pittsburgh-barges-bridges-ohio-river/index.html

On a personal note, the mystery of my abnormal blood work and pain was solved yesterday, I was diagnosed with two autoimmune disorders. Maybe I’ll go into detail at another time.

I have more surgery scheduled this week. No I’m not a surgeon.

Surgery scheduled on Thursday, this time my hand is on the table. Arthritis in my thumb and dupuytren’s contracture. I hope “jazz-hands” are in my future. I’ll close with a joke I’ve probably used before.

What’s the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mick Jagger says “Hey you, get off my cloud” and a Scotsman says, “Hey, McCloud, get off my ewe.”

(Again, why can’t we leave animals alone?)

Who wrote the joke? I’ll guess John Locke,
who lived in Europe in the 17th century. He was an Oxford academic who also researched medicine, best known for his work regarding Enlightenment, along with his developments in liberalism.
(Maybe it was Locke, but is Mick that old?)