The day was Saturday, and a glance at my clock told me it was 8 am. Against my better judgement, I’d commented on several X (bad Twitter) political posts. My tolerance level for that subject has a time limit now of about twenty minutes. Regarding presidential elections… didn’t we just do this, and wasn’t it with the same candidates? We have surpassed insanity.
I did something that thirteen months ago would have been unheard of and redirected my attention; I checked the NFL schedule. I know! A quick call to my therapist assured me it was normal, and it was not enough to warrant an involuntary 72-hour hold. Before last year, I had not followed football since the days cave dwellers played a similar game with balls made of wild boar-skin. But I need mindless entertainment.
My mother, who will be 90 next month, and I spent the weekend watching (American) football. This is one of the few ways we can spend time together that takes no effort on my part. Before each game, mum asks who we are rooting for, and I give her my random choice. It’s nice to have that kind of power over someone.
My mode of selection is whimsical. One day, it’s based on uniform colors. Occasionally, it’s the creativity of the name of the team. But every so often it’s political. I consider who governs the state. For example, I will never cheer on an organization from the states of Texas and Florida.
The regular season has ended and these are the playoffs, so there were four games last weekend.
Game one on Saturday, we cheered for Baltimore, rather than Houston, because Texas Governor Greg Abbott sucks.
The Baltimore Ravens won. 👏🏻
For the second game on Saturday, I chose the Green Bay Packers to win. My choice was based on my dislike for the former quarterback, anti-vax conspiracy theorist, Arron Rodgers.
Green Bay’s current starting quarterback is Jordan Love. He had been the backup QB for four years, waiting for the old man to step aside. This season, Rodgers moved on to the NY Jets. He played 94 seconds, then tore his Achilles tendon. That was the end of his season. The irony is that this happened with the NY Jets, and conspiracy theorists don’t believe jets were used in the terrorist attacks that took place on 9/11, in New York. Karma.
I wanted Rodgers to see the organization succeed without him. Petty? Yes.
San Francisco won. I’m fine.
Sunday’s early game was the Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. the Detroit Lions. Tampa is in Florida, stained by gogo-boot Guvnah DeSantis, so I was all in for Detroit. Eminem is from Detroit, and I am a moderate fan. The camera spent a fair amount of time focused on him, and they played his music over the speakers as the crowd roared. No one was upset when the rapper was on the jumbotron.
Mmm… gotta say, the hypocrisy was palpable. I’ll explain that in a sec. Detroit won. Yay, me! (Everything is about me.)
The second Sunday game was Buffalo vs. Kansas City. I like both teams, but I cheered for Buffalo for no particular reason apart from the thought that it would be nice if the Chiefs stopped hogging Super Bowl rings. Their fingers are pimped out enough. (I know how to use urban dictionary.)
So the reason Eminem’s appearance was annoying to me was the lack of internet complaints that “he is a distraction, using the team to further his career.” It irritated me because Taylor Swift’s boyfriend is Kansas City Chief’s tight end, Travis Kelce and every time he makes a play, good or bad, the cameras go to the skybox to see how Taylor Swift is reacting.
That is the NFL’s choice. Her presence has doubled female interest and viewership, but football guys don’t like it, particularly the republicans. Taylor is a vocal democrat… but so is Eminem. Why is one okay and the other not? Me thinks the answer is misogyny.
On to the game. Travis Kelce casually caught the ball and stepped into the end zone for a touchdown. Tossing the ball up into the stands, he blew a kiss toward the skybox that housed his people, and made a heart gesture with his hands. So sweet.
The camera went to the box for a Swift reaction and instead found Jason Kelce, the older brother, center for the Eagles, who were eliminated last week in what was his last game. He has retired.
So what’s he doing in his dotage?
Jason was in Buffalo to cheer on his brother.
And cheer he did. It was like a bear disturbed during hibernation:
And a few beers later, when Travis scored again, the frightening beast escaped captivity. It was like an actor breaking the fourth wall, acknowledging the audience. This was a Buffalo crowd. Little bro plays for Kansas City. What would… oh look, he returned to confinement without an intervention because that is where they keep his beer.
Here we see the beast soaking in a bubble bath behind the GOP nemesis. I have heard no one complain about Jason’s screen time. A few people have suggested that he behaved so outrageously to take the pressure off Taylor Swift.
I think Jason Kelce was lubricated and having fun celebrating his retirement while supporting his bro, yo.
This weekend’s final two playoff games that will determine who goes to the Superbowl.
I hope it will be Kansas City and Detroit that go to the Super Bowl, just so we can confirm the disparity of the complaints. Who was a distraction in the audience: Eminem, Jason Kelce, or Taylor Swift.
A lot from Lydia 
Supposedly, Jason’s wife was not happy about his ‘display’ either. 😆
The one and only time I will say ‘Good boy’ for DeSantis: He vetoed a bill some numbnut FL Rep wanted to pass that would have Florida taxpayers (me!) pay Trump’s legal fees.
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Ooo I heard about the bill but didn’t know he vetoed it! Good news!
Yep Jason Kelce seems like he knows- really, really, knows- how to have fun. I guess you only live once. I can almost hear Sinatra sing “I did it my way.” He’s a lot. They’re a cute couple.
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