The First Ten Candidate Debate

Last night rang in the first democratic debate for the 2020 presidential election. Of the 24 candidates, 20 qualified for the debates. Only 20 🙄.

What happened to the missing four?

Three of the disqualified did not meet the strict qualification standards, which include, but are not limited to:

• Garnering 1% support in three polls approved by the Democratic committee
• Raising money from a certain number of donors, divided by an exact number equalling a minimum number of states, corresponding with the combined total of the weight and age of the candidate on the last date when the phase of the moon was a waxing gibbous.

The fourth guy entered the race too late to qualify.

1. Massachusetts Rep. Seth Moulton,

1. Montana Governor Steve Bullock,

1. Miramar, Florida Mayor, Wayne Messam
2. Former Pennsylvania Rep. Joe Sestak

That leaves twenty, twenty candidates for the Democratic nomination, mwahaha.

Twenty is too big a number for one debate, so the candidates were divided into two groups of ten.

The groups were divided by the Democratic National Committee and NBC, based on polling status, and or the following height and dietary distinction.

Pescatarians and carnivores over 65” tall and vegans and vegetarians under 65” tall and anyone with a food allergy was selected for night 1, and…

• Vegans and vegetarians over 65” tall, carnivores and pescatarians under 65” tall, and anyone with any food intolerance that is not an allergy, per se would debate on night two—

• Or, the candidates polling above 2 percent and those polling below 2 percent and a drawing to randomly split the candidates in each group between the two nights.

Last nights lineup was: Warren, O’Rourke, Booker, Castro, Gabbard, Inslee, Klobuchar, de Blasio, Delaney, and Ryan

The debate was set up as follows: a moderator would ask a particular question of a specific candidate; they would get one minute, one minute to answer, mwahaha.

Other candidates were allowed a 30-second follow-up. Then on to another candidate, rinse, repeat.

Sound fair? In theory, it is, but as I watched, I thought hmm, that bald guy who keeps interrupting everyone, (Delaney), isn’t getting any time; and hmm, Cory Booker is talking again.

I conferred with my staff- daughter #2, and three my dogs, and we agreed the time was not equal— someone on the world wide web charted and confirmed my hypothesis.

Regardless of the disparity, I gave each candidate my undivided attention. I immediately conjectured that some should go back to their day jobs. (Vote blue, no matter which.)

Of the first ten, who did I like?

— who cares, amirite? (Warren)

Who do you prefer?

Tonight’s menu:

If you missed it, here is a link to view the full: First Democratic Presidential Primary Debate On MSNBC, Night One:

https://youtu.be/rmF2Wmg3W3M