Donald Trump’s Houston Tour

*Warning* This post is satire: making use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice.


The crowd could not have been bigger, granted those who intermittently floated by were non-responsive. Trump likes a responsive audience, so there will be Hell Toupee if he finds someone, who hasn’t quit, to yell at. 

But as for size, believe me, Obama’s crowd wasn’t half this big during Katrina…what? Katrina was on George W. Bush’s watch? Anyway. They’re calling this the biggest flood in 500 years…I have the biggest storms. Obama never had a flood this big.

Milania was handed the microphone and took the opportunity to lament scientist’s choice of name for the storm. Harvey— (sounds like a six foot Rabbit who hangs around with Jimmy Stewart.) She would prefer a fierce name like: Hercules, Herrod, or even Hamilton as a nod to the electoral college that catapulted them to the position of great power they both enjoy. She would make it her new priority as FLOTUS to re-name the storm. 

Trump closed the show by reminding the “yuge crowd” his next gig is Missouri. He thanked them for coming, saying “What a crowd, what a turnout.” Meanwhile Texans, treading water, held up their babies up for Trump to kiss… or to keep their heads above water. 

Remember Houston USA hats (made in China), like the one Trump wore, are available in red and white, and can be purchased online for $40 —so when ever you get a wifi signal back, you should order one for every bobbing head you see.

Okay Milania, quick, put the stilletto’s back on…let’s get outta here before these assholes realize I reversed Obama’s regulation to protect infrastructure against flooding—just ten days ago.

We’re going to Missouri!

Mueller? Mueller? Mueller?

<a href=””>Enamored</a&gt;

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