Reading the News, So You Don’t Have To

Lately I’m torn between needing a day off from politics, and sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the next thing. The next thing is always only a few hours away, which adds a high level of anticipation to my news addiction. Donald Trump has turned me into a backseat political analyst. But I don’t do this for myself, I read the news so you don’t have to. This is a free service I offer to society…because I am a humanitarian.
Today I scan through the news and find Trump’s first trip outside his bubble: to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, Jerusalem, Bethlehem, Vatican City, Brussels, and Sicily. That story is battling with impeachment speculation for top spot today. 

As far as said trip, the most prevalent theme is “don’t do anything stupid.” Everyone is offering up their own version of the same advise: Don’t talk about crowd size, don’t talk about the Koran, don’t grab any female genitalia, in fact don’t go. If you must go, don’t open your mouth, and don’t move your arms. Ugh- this is our representation. No wonder the world hates America. Thanks Vlad, nice choice. 
Trump has extricated Melania from her New York Tower for this trip. The Jared the Ivanka are also along to distract from the oaf. Maybe Ivanka will offer sales contracts on Ivanka Hijabs (made by children in China) to be sold with a copy of her new book “How to Be Like I Want You to Believe I Am”…or something like that. 
By the way neither Trump woman covered their head in Saudi Arabia. More hypocrisy from the man who criticized Michelle Obama for the same offense. “Many people are saying” f*ck you Donald Trump. —they are.

On a side note, NPR has interesting results from their latest poll. It shows how devided we are as a country in what we believe our priorities should be with our foreign policies: selfless humanitarianism, or materialistic greed. Don’t let my granola breath influence you, but come on Republicans!

There is also speculation in the news today, or hope, that Trump will seek political asylum somewhere and never return the U.S., in order to avoid his imminent impeachment and prison time. We won’t be so lucky. 
Meanwhile back on the ranch, Mike Pence is scrambling to appear as if he had nothing to do with the Russia scandal. He was kept in the dark about Flynn, and in spite of the fact that half the country knew what was happening, he did not…no, really. He is also raising money for a 2020 presidential run. So in other words, he is too stupid to have seen the writing on the wall, but he’s presidential material? Me thinks you can’t have it both ways. Pence is on the list of likely impeachables. (new word) 

Okay, that’s it for me…I can’t stand any more. There is a day to have. Happy Saturday! 
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