Once upon a time in a once great land, there lived three apprentices: Nepotism Jr., Cronyism, and the fair ConflictO’interest. They decided to work together…because they read somewhere that life is a con, and that “life’s losers” are more easily confused in a shell game with more shells.
One day the three grew tired of just being rich and entitled; they decided they wanted power too. Suddenly something unpresidented happened…a bigly yellow combover orange man dressed in a tie held down with scotch tape appeared and said he was their father. He asked them to help him make the land great again, promising them rewards of power and even more wealth. They rejoiced by shooting leopards .
Their first order of business was to help the orange one convince a white male minority in the flyover states that there were peas under many of the shells in their shell game. They proclaimed all the white families in the land would have enough peas to feed on if they believed everything they said, so they did.
One day as the apprentices were working on their fathers behalf, a large group— a majority of the people of the once great land noticed that the orange man was actually a horse’s ass, and thought he might also be the Devil. The apprentices didn’t care because, although he assured them that he was indeed the Devil and a horses ass, he was not after their souls…(He didn’t mention that his Russian boss was.)
He continued to give the three apprentices money and power and told them that, whenever they were spoken to, the first one was to say “All three of us”; the second was to say “have non-profit organizations”; and the third to say, “And quite right too!”
While the minority white crowd was distracted by Cronyism, Nepotism Jr., and the lovely Conflict’O interest, the Orange yellow haired man ate the only pea, and left nothing under any of the shells in the game.
In spite of the majority crowd’s efforts, the three apprentices and the devil moved into a great white house, and the majority watched everything in disbelief.
For fear the apprentices would steal it, social security had been overfunded…but the speaker of the great white house dismantled it anyway, and the apprentices and the orange haired man just laughed as all the old people in the once great land…including the flyover states had to work forever as Walmart greeters. When the apprentices were questioned by the media about this travesty, the first one said “All three of us”; the second said “have non-profit organizations”; and the third, “And quite right too!”
Sadly, this was the first of a long list of changes that would only profit the orange one, the apprentices and his wealthy friends.
Will the minority in the flyover states ever discover the lack of peas under the shells? We don’t know how this fairytale ends, but we do no the future is Grimm…
December 23, 2016