How Convenient 

This should be an April fools day prank, but sadly it isn’t. My gift to you on this April day is another unsolicited opinion.

Today is my day off. My one day off out of seven days of working long hours. (I know, poor me.) Anyway, that means: I stock up on groceries, buy crickets for fluffy the lizard, do laundry, try to clean, I spend an hour looking for my phone in my house and car, (eventually finding it in a laundry basket), purchase and replace a broken door lock, go to a track meet, and other such rejuvenating activities, all before its time to go back to work and make the doughnuts. (it’s a figure of speech, I do not actually make doughnuts) 

It’s a beautiful day here in paradise (Walmart), my first stop. Something happens to me in here. I don’t know if it’s the fluorescent lights, or what, but I don’t feel like myself. I am overcome with a feeling of resignation. I lose my purpose. My shopping list escapes me, and I am close to slipping into a vegetative state. I find myself in the produce section. (Yes, I know I’m lucky to have a Super Walmart to shop at.) I vaguely remember that I wanted to attempt making spaghetti squash, in spite of a previous failed attempt. Score, they have it. It’s what’s next to it that confuses me.

“Microwaveable Potatoes”, and “Microwaveable Sweet Potatoes”. I may be the fool here, because all these years I’ve been microwaving regular old potatoes and sweet potatoes. I’ve never bought two different types of potatoes with intent to cook them in different appliances. I hope I haven’t violated any Idaho state laws. I find the regular old fashioned sweet potatoes and hold them side by side, trying to visually discern what merits the cost difference. I purchase two regular sweet potatoes. Looking at my receipt, I paid $1.34 for the two plain old sweet potatoes, and as you can see in the photo, the “microwaveable” ones are $1.28 each. 

If I had the time, or if I were Michael Moore, I would hang out there by those potatoes and wait for someone to put one in their basket. I would love to ask them why a potato wrapped in plastic is worth twice as much as a naked one. My guess is that it’s just marketing, and some rich guy is laughing his way to the bank. 

I have to admit that twenty years ago, I was the one complaining about bottled water. Water comes out of a tap where I live. It’s potable! Why were people buying something that comes out of a tap for free? I’m not interested in an argument on this subject. I’ve since been known to buy water for the kids to take when they go to sporting events, or school… Because “What’s a drinking fountain?”

Here is my problem. We Americans are conditioned to think that over processed foods are convenient, and the busier we are, the less likely we are to buy raw unprocessed food. The man in the suit knows this. He also knows that we like to think we are healthy eaters. So, throw some thick plastic and a sticker that says “microwaveable” on a potato and sell it individually at a price point double that of its naked neighbor. Voila! Suit gets new cuff links, and busy schmuck eats his microwaved potato for $1.28. It’s not exactly the circle of life, but who am I to tell busy schmuck how to spend his money.

I leave Walmart with my potatoes, and wander home. My to do list is sadly still intact. I’m trying to shake off the Walmartness of the morning with a cup of coffee, and then I’ll be off to Cricketmart. 


The Daily Post, April Fools Day 2015, Daily Post: Fool Me Once~ It’s April 1st! Pull a fast one — publish a post that gently pranks your readers.<a href=””>Fool Me Once</a>

8 thoughts on “How Convenient 

  1. Hanging my head in shame. I confess to having bought the pre-wrapped, microwaveable potato. In my defense, I’m easily distracted by the new-fangled. For your edification, they tasted exactly like regular potatoes, but boy, were they easy to cook. So much easier than a regular potato. I probably saved a whole 10 seconds of my valuable time! Ten whole seconds!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m the same! Though I tend to purchase more ‘au natural’ ones, I also tend to buy the ‘new’ too, just for curiosity’s sake. They taste the same. But just the fact that it can be ‘microwaved’ gives a sense of effortlessness. Sheesh!

    Liked by 1 person

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